That kind of love

Everyone experiences love differently with each person they know. Here’s a story from my past with someone.

I was REALLY young when I fell head over heels with this guy. He was charming, funny, confident, and a jerk sometimes. I confessed to him but was ultimately rejected. I didn’t know at the time, but he had a girlfriend. Even though I was rejected I continued to talk to him here and there over the course of a few years.

It wasn’t until three or four years later (when we were both single) that we starting flirting. It was around December to January when we really hit it off. I knew that this time, he wanted to pursue a relationship with me. We would talk every night over the phone and he’d text me throughout the day. I literally dreamed about him for a week straight; weird right? On top of that, we’d Skype and he even introduced me to his mom. It was hilarious.

And whenever he’d go party, he’d never forget about me. He’d call and tell his friends to say hi to me over the phone. And he always tried to not call me when he’s drunk for fear of saying something he shouldn’t. It was nice when we’d sleep with the call still on. It was an unofficial relationship I felt. But he didn’t ask me out for fear of the long-distance-relationship not working out (as he mentioned to me before because of a previous relationship he had).

Although this relationship never amounted to anything more, I’m glad that we’ve both found someone in our lives now and are happy. Sometimes I miss the love I experienced with this certain individual.┬áIt really felt like romance in movies.

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stop right there. if we go any further than this, we won’t be able to turn back. if we push it, i’ll really fall for you. stop talking to me. no. don’t. i take it back. talk to me. i want to talk to you.

i crave you. i crave your presence. i want more. i want to see you. be right next to you. i want you now.

we’re crossing lines. we can’t look back now. good bye to square one. you’re making me promises. it’s getting me worked up.

i’m hopeful. i like this feeling. i like you. so much.

i see you. you’re staring at me. i make a silly face. we’re laughing. you pinch my cheeks. i scream at you. i smile.

you invite me over. give me a tour of your house. we’re in your bedroom.
i lay on your bed. you lay next to me. you kiss me. i kiss you back. we’re staring at each other.

>>> [skip.] >>>

i stop hearing from you. i text you. you text back. short replies. i wait. you tell me you’re busy.

what is this? i’m scared. i confront you. you invite me over. i drive over.

>>> [skip.] >>>

i’m crying. in disbelief.
———-
We were best friends. We crossed that invisible line. We were intimate. You started liking another girl. I was upset. You told me you wanted to be friends still. I didn’t want it. You hurt me. It’s over [we were never official anyways]. You date her. You miss our friendship. But we crossed that line and I can’t possibly go back. Why would I go back to someone who hurt me?