Valentine’s Day

​Woke up at 5:30 AM today for work. It went okay. Parents brought in candies for the teachers and I gave a little box of chocolates to my teacher. Got off at 1 PM, walked home, and laid in my bed until 4 PM. I know; what did I do with my time? I could’ve been productive and tackled my homework, but instead, I was on my phone the whole time. This is how I spent most of my days in the past. After that though, I was productive and did my discussion posts for my classes and attended a live classroom with my new teacher. Finally done with it all at 9:30 PM. Now I’m just laying in bed. I should be sleeping but thought I should be recording my days… just something to look back on.

Even though it’s Valentine’s Day, I didn’t do anything with my boyfriend. We didn’t even say Happy Valentine’s Day or anything. I had wanted to get him some things but after thinking about how he wouldn’t do anything in return, I decided to not care. He mentioned long ago that he didn’t care for holidays so I feel I should treat it as such. I personally enjoy holidays so this was quite a letdown. No matter how much effort I put into preparing gifts, he doesn’t do the same. This goes for special events as well like birthdays.

I was also upset about something he told me this past weekend. Note: He currently lives with me (for free). He told his mom that he wants to get an apartment when he gets a stable job but she told him that I can’t live with him, even though he has lived with me. I was hurt by this and texted my older sister about it. She told me that he should stand up for himself and me and tell his mom that we are going to live together no matter what, but if he sides with his parents, then that’s that. I asked him today if he wanted to get an apartment regardless of what his mom said but he replied with “not sure.” All of this has made me feel insecure about our relationship. It’s as if he doesn’t care for my needs anymore and is just being selfish and taking advantage of me. It’s really upsetting for me.

Plus, I get why his mom said we shouldn’t live together but maybe she just doesn’t like me. It really hurts my feelings that he isn’t concentrating on us and our future together. Does he even see a future for us anymore?


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